Raising Girls Beyond Reflections
The Mirror Is Not A Measure
I was in the middle of my weight loss journey and I was feeling down. I had gained 2 pounds that week.
I groaned and stepped off the scale, marching over to one of the many mirrors in my house.
I lifted my shirt to check my waistline, feeling disappointed.
Did I look different?
I turned to leave when I noticed my three year old daughter had been watching. Copying me, she stepped on the scale and dramatically rolled her eyes at the number. She walked over to the mirror, lifted her shirt and huffed a big puff.
Then she looked at me for approval.
She’s only three. She’s creative, imaginative and free.
She draws wobbly hearts and rainbows with crayons.
She didn’t even know what she was doing, but she did it anyway. Because she was watching me.
At that moment, I realized that my mirror language had been teaching her more than I ever intended.
Children learn how to relate to their bodies by watching how you relate to yours. It's not just what you say out loud. Things like:
“I look so tired”
“I need to lose weight”
“I hate my [insert body part]”
It’s also the subtle sighs, grimaces, and critical glances you cast at your reflection.
This language becomes a script that your children will eventually learn to adopt as their own. When they’re watching, they’re absorbing what you say and what you don’t say.
We started using the mirror as a tool for self-connection instead of self-criticism. Encouraging our daughters to say positive affirmations.
“I am strong”
“I am powerful”
“I am creative”
You are teaching your children what is acceptable, what is beautiful, and what is flawed. Fill the first chapter of their body book with love, acceptance and confidence.
Their self-worth is so much more than their appearance - and yours is too!
Next time you’re in front of the mirror, pause. What would you want your child to say if they were standing there? What would you never want them to believe about themselves?
Say something different.
Say something kind or simply smile and move on.
Because you never know who’s watching.
