Food Rules For My Daughters: Recovery Edition
What does food look like in a home where Mom is recovering from her own unhealthy eating habits?
These are the gentle rules we follow in our house. Not to control, but to create freedom. These “rules” aren't about restriction, they’re about respect. For our bodies, our minds and each other.
Rule #1: There Are No "Rules"
That’s right! There are no hard rules in our house. I don’t believe in forcing anyone to eat in a certain way to “earn” or “deserve” food. We don’t follow diets or fad trends. Instead, we follow guidelines that help us make healthy choices without making food a source of anxiety.
Listen to Your Body
This is one of the most important lessons I hope my daughters will learn. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat. If you’re hungry, eat! No, you don’t have to finish your plate. You want seconds? Sure! Trust yourself to know when you need fuel. You are the expert of your own body and you should feel confident making choices that feel good to you.
Food is Food - No Labels Here
We don’t label food “good” or “bad.” Doing so creates shame, and shame around food only makes things harder in the long run. All foods have a place. Whether it’s fuel, joy, or comfort. No guilt, no fear. Just balance.
Treats Are a Part of Life
Sweets like cookies, ice cream, and cake, they’re not off-limits! Restricting food groups can lead to feeling guilty about enjoying our favorite foods. Instead, enjoy treats when you want them, without the side of shame. It’s about balancing indulgence with nourishment, not about restrictions/rewards.
You Can Have What You Want & That's Ok!
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that denying yourself something you really want often leads to overeating or feeling out of control. If you want that donut, have it. But also be mindful of why you’re choosing it and how it makes you feel. Have the freedom to enjoy food without feeling like there are restrictions.
Food Isn’t Meant To Carry Our Emotions
It’s so easy to turn to food when you’re feeling upset, bored, or stressed. While it’s okay to have a comfort meal, food is not the answer to your emotions. It’s okay to have emotions and it’s okay to enjoy food, but never let food be your way of coping.
Make It A Family Affair
Whenever we can, we eat together. My girls help pick meals, stir pots, and taste sauces. It’s messy, and it’s fun! Sharing food is not just about nutrition; it’s about connection, creativity, and learning.
Celebrate Your Food
Take the time to enjoy your food. Sometimes we eat mindlessly, especially in the days of social media. But the more we can tune in to our senses, the more we’ll appreciate the nourishment we’re getting. Enjoy every bite, whether it’s a meal at home or a fun snack on the road.
Be Kind to Yourself
I’m learning, too. Every day is an opportunity for me to remind myself that it’s okay to have ups and downs with food. Some days, I feel strong and empowered; other days, I have to work harder to remind myself that food is not the enemy. The most important rule of all is to be kind to yourself—whether you’re having a healthy meal or indulging in your favorite treat. You deserve love, self-compassion, and understanding, no matter what you eat.
Mom Win Tip! Whenever we are finished eating and I feel like I have a “food baby”, I push my stomach out, show the girls and say “Look! This is a happy belly! I'm not hungry anymore!” Now all I have to do is point to my belly and say “What’s this? That’s right! A happy belly!” It’s a small thing, but it’s our way of normalizing how bodies change meal to meal, day to day. And honestly? It helps me just as much as it helps them.
