The Mother I Hadn’t Met Yet

A lot of us mothers are on a journey to find ourselves again.  They say, “You’ll be back to your old self in no time!”

Back to your body. 

Back to your old energy. 

Back to your hobbies. 

But what if you were never meant to go back? What if the person you are looking for is long gone? 

Going “back” means going back to the version of yourself who hadn’t yet carried a human.  Someone without the love, patience and kindness that your children have taught you.

The girl I was before children was worthy, of course, but she was incomplete. She constantly felt as if something was missing. 

She never had to stare at her reflection and say “I miss you”.  But she didn’t know who she was looking for either.

Motherhood didn't take me away from myself.  It gave me back the parts I didn't know I needed. 

It stripped away all of the parts of me that were not rooted in truth and left me with someone softer, stronger and kinder. 

I used to think the old me was a missing person waiting to be found. Now I know better. She was just the beginning. 

I’m more excited to meet the woman I will become tomorrow than to reclaim the girl I was yesterday.

What version of yourself are you still trying to get back to? 

Is she your final destination, or your starting point?